I think it must be utterly unsatisfying to not be able to blame someone for natural phenomena that you do not appreciate or (at least profess to) understand.
Example. "God, I understand the initial source of cramping. But really? Is it really necessary to involve my lower back and digestive tract as well?" Then, crabbily, not directed at anyone in particular: God is clearly a man.
This is why I couldn't be an atheist.
I bought a book, because I have no self control.
Or rather, because when I walked by the poetry section I picked it up, because I had heard of the poet, and flipped to this page --
. . .
Still the atmosphere quivers
with the initial word
dressed up
in terror and sighing.
It emerged
from the darkness
and until now there is no thunder
that rumbles yet with all the iron
of that word,
the first
word uttered ---
perhaps it was only a ripple, a drop
and yet its great cataract falls and falls.
. . .
the same ---
. . .
Aún la atmósfera tiembla
con la primera palabra
elaborada
con pánico y gemido.
Salió
de las tinieblas
y hasta ahora no hay trueno
que truene aún con su ferretería
como aquella palabra,
la primera
palabra pronunciada:
tal vez sólo un susurro fue, una gota,
y cae y cae aún su catarata.
. . .
Pablo Neruda, "La Palabra"
I'm not sure how to keep my eyes from jumping to the English side of the page first.
In any case, I thought at the time it was brilliant, and whether it is or not, to understand a little bit of poetry would allay some quiet fears of mine. . .
Monday, March 8, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
life as a space cadet
Shades of last term: Wandering the Internet, the sky dark through the hints of glass on the fourth floor in the main buildings, the windows and skylights reflecting the light of monitors and fluorescent fixtures back down on the startling number of students who are far from their beds at 1:00 AM on a Monday morning.
But they are doing their own work, and I am merely printing a poster for the Shakespeare Ensemble (which I am not technically involved in anymore, but given that 50% of Fenway still is, I decided to be friendly.) There is something weirdly liberating about being out at 1 AM when you don't have to be, as opposed to being out at 1 AM because you have work left to do. Last term I pretty much felt. . . trapped, every time I walked into studio. Staying up into the small hours of the night working is made that much more desolate when you are a mile from home.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
NYTimes strikes again
Darwin foes add warming to targets.
Er. . . all right, I guess.
I attribute the fact that I have no great religious conflicts about evolution to the following exchange, which occurred between me and my mother when I was about 5.
"Mommy! Where do dinosaurs fit in the Adam and Eve story? Is one of them not right?"
"No, dinosaurs and Adam and Eve are different. But they're both true. . . don't worry too much about it."
And I haven't.
As for global warming, I aggressively do not care. Saving energy? Sure, I care about saving energy. I'll go work on that. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT GREENHOUSE GASES, CARBON FOOTPRINTS, OR AL GORE. I'm just going to focus on saving energy. Leave me alone.
I know what compromise about teaching these issues in schools would make me happy. All the little kids would learn the scientific theory, and then the next day, we would talk about reasons why these theories are challenged by certain groups of people who aren't scientists. Reasons like, "They feel it challenges their religion, which is central to their way of understanding the world," and "They worry that it undermines the value of life." I think the sooner kids learn that things are not black-and-white, the better off they will be . . .
Another conversation, between myself and my talented-and-gifted teacher in fourth grade:
(me) "People who cut down rain forests are bad!"
(my teacher) "Not necessarily. . . sometimes they have no other options to make a living."
We all have reasons for how we act. . .
Reading The Master and Margarita, by Mikhail Bulgakov, for Literary Society. So far the most interesting character is Satan.
Er. . . all right, I guess.
I attribute the fact that I have no great religious conflicts about evolution to the following exchange, which occurred between me and my mother when I was about 5.
"Mommy! Where do dinosaurs fit in the Adam and Eve story? Is one of them not right?"
"No, dinosaurs and Adam and Eve are different. But they're both true. . . don't worry too much about it."
And I haven't.
As for global warming, I aggressively do not care. Saving energy? Sure, I care about saving energy. I'll go work on that. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT GREENHOUSE GASES, CARBON FOOTPRINTS, OR AL GORE. I'm just going to focus on saving energy. Leave me alone.
I know what compromise about teaching these issues in schools would make me happy. All the little kids would learn the scientific theory, and then the next day, we would talk about reasons why these theories are challenged by certain groups of people who aren't scientists. Reasons like, "They feel it challenges their religion, which is central to their way of understanding the world," and "They worry that it undermines the value of life." I think the sooner kids learn that things are not black-and-white, the better off they will be . . .
Another conversation, between myself and my talented-and-gifted teacher in fourth grade:
(me) "People who cut down rain forests are bad!"
(my teacher) "Not necessarily. . . sometimes they have no other options to make a living."
We all have reasons for how we act. . .
Reading The Master and Margarita, by Mikhail Bulgakov, for Literary Society. So far the most interesting character is Satan.
. . .
When I woke up this morning I felt embarrassed that I had put such a strong opinion on this blog.
ARGH.
ARGH.
Friday, March 5, 2010
I hate waiting for emails
"The world is not ending, but I feel sad anyway."
There was a logical thought progression behind this statement which disqualified it from being clever in my mind. . .
Improve your Japanese by studying manga! Um. I wish I had time to do this. . .
Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Change. ARGH THIS BOTHERS ME.
Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Change. ARGH THIS BOTHERS ME.
v. anxious
somewhat tired and a little glum. I missed a couple assignments -- one in Spanish, because she changed it from the syllabus during class and I didn't quite understand what she was saying -- and one in Japanese, because I just sort of let it buzz by (we're supposed to be writing a blog entry online, and I forgot.)
I'm worried I didn't get my thesis proposal done in time. I'm worried I'm not going to get my MISTI Spain application done in time. I'm worried . . . that I'm not going to get my Japanese homework done. I have two hours and two pages left. Argh. . . I feel guilty that I added 4 TBS instead of 2 TBS of maple syrup to my oatmeal this morning. I swear it was an accident, and it tasted too sweet, but I didn't want to throw it away. I also feel guilty that my proposal for the Gondoliers poster is a composition of pieces rather than an entirely original artwork by moi. It seems like I'm cheating. I need to think some more about that. . .
I was reading an architecture friend's blog/twitter and feeling mightily inadequate. It seems like most of my architecture friends have done all these marvelous things -- Hawaii workshop, Cambodia workshop, the Veneto experience, study abroad in Copenhagen, study abroad in Delft, working in Paris. . . I feel kind of dumb and small in comparison. Yes, I went to Japan, but I was incompetent and confused and feel approximately like the same person I was before I went, which is to say, unpolished, uncoordinated, and uncool. I did not have deep thoughts about urban planning while I was there.
ARGH.
To make myself feel better I will now post things I found on her twitter site that did not make feel inadequate, although now I want to play with watercolors.
Vietnamese wildlife. Watercolors!
Kitties. In honor of Kitty, the Fenway House Feline (her name is actually Zelda, but we are all maladjusted so we call her Kitty. She is a dog in catpants. She lets me rub her tummy and wants to play all the time.)
The Impossible Cool. A blog. I find it humorous. I don't think it's supposed to be humorous.
I'm worried I didn't get my thesis proposal done in time. I'm worried I'm not going to get my MISTI Spain application done in time. I'm worried . . . that I'm not going to get my Japanese homework done. I have two hours and two pages left. Argh. . . I feel guilty that I added 4 TBS instead of 2 TBS of maple syrup to my oatmeal this morning. I swear it was an accident, and it tasted too sweet, but I didn't want to throw it away. I also feel guilty that my proposal for the Gondoliers poster is a composition of pieces rather than an entirely original artwork by moi. It seems like I'm cheating. I need to think some more about that. . .
I was reading an architecture friend's blog/twitter and feeling mightily inadequate. It seems like most of my architecture friends have done all these marvelous things -- Hawaii workshop, Cambodia workshop, the Veneto experience, study abroad in Copenhagen, study abroad in Delft, working in Paris. . . I feel kind of dumb and small in comparison. Yes, I went to Japan, but I was incompetent and confused and feel approximately like the same person I was before I went, which is to say, unpolished, uncoordinated, and uncool. I did not have deep thoughts about urban planning while I was there.
ARGH.
To make myself feel better I will now post things I found on her twitter site that did not make feel inadequate, although now I want to play with watercolors.
Vietnamese wildlife. Watercolors!
Kitties. In honor of Kitty, the Fenway House Feline (her name is actually Zelda, but we are all maladjusted so we call her Kitty. She is a dog in catpants. She lets me rub her tummy and wants to play all the time.)
The Impossible Cool. A blog. I find it humorous. I don't think it's supposed to be humorous.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
argh
v. tired.
Still have a metric crapton of Japanese homework to do tonight, of course.
Spent the last 1.5 hours working on my mockup of the Gondoliers poster. It actually looks something like what I imagined. I am pleased. It needs a lot of cleanup, of course. And a lot of thought about what would go on the t-shirts. . .
Handed in a "version" of my thesis proposal. Ugh. Sometimes I am just . . . a rat. A stinky rat.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
pottery land
Life is tiring right now.
I am trying to pound out the last bit of my revised thesis proposal -- surprise, the methodology section! (Also an extra paragraph on heating systems.) I'm definitely skipping 7.02 lecture.
I found this clever blod by way of an architecture friend: 1 design per day. She preferred the "cat hammock coffee table," but the entry that keep coming back to is this one, about kitchenware. I feel ambivalent about the design presented but excited about the possibilities (which maybe could be applied in pottery?) The home page of the designer is here. Interesting duck. I am a little put off by the sex toys (one appears to be attached to a mitten), but interested in the furniture and household objects.
BRILLIANCE!
Abstract City, by Christoph Niemann.
An architecture friend emailed out about the most recent page in this blog, but I really enjoy the leaves.
Actually I really like the whole blog so far. . . it is very very charming.
Speaking of things that are charming.
I follow about 20 artists on deviantART, primarily fantasy artists of various sorts, since my account there is kind of a leftover from my somewhat more single-minded high school days. Nowadays I mainly look through the "Daily Deviations," for things that are beautiful, unexpected, fun, or otherwise wonderful.
That being said, I still heartily enjoy most of the artists I watch. A German illustrator I love both for her style and content is cidaq. Her illustrations are charming (there's that word again), whimsical, a touch scary, and altogether rather magical.
An architecture friend emailed out about the most recent page in this blog, but I really enjoy the leaves.
Actually I really like the whole blog so far. . . it is very very charming.
Speaking of things that are charming.
I follow about 20 artists on deviantART, primarily fantasy artists of various sorts, since my account there is kind of a leftover from my somewhat more single-minded high school days. Nowadays I mainly look through the "Daily Deviations," for things that are beautiful, unexpected, fun, or otherwise wonderful.
That being said, I still heartily enjoy most of the artists I watch. A German illustrator I love both for her style and content is cidaq. Her illustrations are charming (there's that word again), whimsical, a touch scary, and altogether rather magical.
today
I MUST:
1. Finish my thesis proposal.
I WOULD LIKE TO:
1. Send out the delayed emails regarding MISTI Spain.
I GET TO:
1. Go on a walk.
2. Go to pottery class.
1. Finish my thesis proposal.
I WOULD LIKE TO:
1. Send out the delayed emails regarding MISTI Spain.
I GET TO:
1. Go on a walk.
2. Go to pottery class.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
my lab notebook is boring.
In character. (Courtesy of Stumble.) This blog entry is quite brilliant -- the work of photographer Howard Schatz (no, I hadn't heard of him before either), giving about 10 different well-known actors a series of three very different prompts and capturing their facial expressions.This doggy photography was created by Sharon Montrose, via Cup of Jo. GREAT DANE.
Refinery 29 Fashion Blog. It looks smart, brief, and informative. We shall see.
Kate Wilson Little Doodles. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa soooooo cute. I particularly like the ones this blog chose, but Kate Wilson's actual site is here and it looks rather more interesting.
And here is what I called the "FU" section.
Monday, March 1, 2010
such a great weight
So, at this point I am approximately 25% of the way to my weight-loss goal.
I have been slowly (oh so slowly) inching my way along since January 4, using the patented Sharon "try to eat less and spend lots of quality time on the treadmill" diet. I count calories. I set limits. I try to rationalize when I go 200 calories over. Occasionally I splurge and have a muffin (but not just any muffin! no. a muffin with maple frosting AND streusel topping.) or eight cookies worth of cookie dough. I feel guilty; I pretend it didn't happen the next day and make faces at the scale when it argues with me. Given all that, I have still lost about 10 pounds in two months -- which probably reflects more on how very much I weighed to start with than any super dedication on my part. I honestly can't quite tell whether my pants fit a little better or whether I have just stretched them out. Sizes in general are not a good measure of weight for me -- I am generally a "size enormous" in anything vaguely trendy, 60% because I am chubby and 40% because I have wide shoulders. (thank you Dad.)
Right now I'm running about 15 miles a week on the treadmill in 5-mile increments. Today I finished in 40:55. (Woot woot!) Hopefully I can get under an 8:00 mile by the end of the week; hopefully then when it is warmer I can move outdoors and run a little more easily.
It doesn't do to think too much about my senior year of high school and my solitary (but glorious!) season of cross country. I weighed less, of course. Much less.
More importantly, it doesn't -- quite -- do to remember running the 2-mile loop out on the gravel road and up around the dike in 15:00 at the beginning of August in the heat and feeling wonderful when I finished. (Except that it was a really good summer.)
I keep slogging away. And hoping. Maybe in a week or two the dress from H&M in my closet will fit without bunching (as it -- sort of -- did when I bought it.)
I have been slowly (oh so slowly) inching my way along since January 4, using the patented Sharon "try to eat less and spend lots of quality time on the treadmill" diet. I count calories. I set limits. I try to rationalize when I go 200 calories over. Occasionally I splurge and have a muffin (but not just any muffin! no. a muffin with maple frosting AND streusel topping.) or eight cookies worth of cookie dough. I feel guilty; I pretend it didn't happen the next day and make faces at the scale when it argues with me. Given all that, I have still lost about 10 pounds in two months -- which probably reflects more on how very much I weighed to start with than any super dedication on my part. I honestly can't quite tell whether my pants fit a little better or whether I have just stretched them out. Sizes in general are not a good measure of weight for me -- I am generally a "size enormous" in anything vaguely trendy, 60% because I am chubby and 40% because I have wide shoulders. (thank you Dad.)
Right now I'm running about 15 miles a week on the treadmill in 5-mile increments. Today I finished in 40:55. (Woot woot!) Hopefully I can get under an 8:00 mile by the end of the week; hopefully then when it is warmer I can move outdoors and run a little more easily.
It doesn't do to think too much about my senior year of high school and my solitary (but glorious!) season of cross country. I weighed less, of course. Much less.
More importantly, it doesn't -- quite -- do to remember running the 2-mile loop out on the gravel road and up around the dike in 15:00 at the beginning of August in the heat and feeling wonderful when I finished. (Except that it was a really good summer.)
I keep slogging away. And hoping. Maybe in a week or two the dress from H&M in my closet will fit without bunching (as it -- sort of -- did when I bought it.)
just quick. . .
before I transition back into work, i.e. Japanese vocabulary. (偉い/えらい means "great, superior, distinguished." continuing from there. . .)
Things that are awesome: (These were all found by way of the Firefox add-on Stumble. If you want to see your productivity take a nose dive for a week until you've seen so many art-game-history-literature-random-gorgeous-application websites you're satiated and nauseated, add this. I kind of prefer following the links from people's blogs, because there is only a finite number of them.)
30 Fashion Illustrators. Fashion illustration is a whole different way of approaching the design and composition of drawings, one that I would love to learn.
Calligraphic art by Margaret Shepherd. These four pieces are unquestionably, spectacularly BRILLIANT. The rest of this site -- Omniglot -- is pretty awesome too; I found it in high school and spent hours cruising through alphabets from around the world. The Roman alphabet serves its purpose, but it sure hasn't got the market cornered on sheer gracefulness of form.
Textures library. This site has got a lot of the textures I use the most in Photoshop type work -- wood, stone, water, and fabric -- as well as some new (to me) ones that could be fun to play with -- such as doors. Yes, doors.
Things that are awesome: (These were all found by way of the Firefox add-on Stumble. If you want to see your productivity take a nose dive for a week until you've seen so many art-game-history-literature-random-gorgeous-application websites you're satiated and nauseated, add this. I kind of prefer following the links from people's blogs, because there is only a finite number of them.)
30 Fashion Illustrators. Fashion illustration is a whole different way of approaching the design and composition of drawings, one that I would love to learn.
Calligraphic art by Margaret Shepherd. These four pieces are unquestionably, spectacularly BRILLIANT. The rest of this site -- Omniglot -- is pretty awesome too; I found it in high school and spent hours cruising through alphabets from around the world. The Roman alphabet serves its purpose, but it sure hasn't got the market cornered on sheer gracefulness of form.
Textures library. This site has got a lot of the textures I use the most in Photoshop type work -- wood, stone, water, and fabric -- as well as some new (to me) ones that could be fun to play with -- such as doors. Yes, doors.
meh.
I always feel like I am being so clever when I prepare things to say for Spanish.
I get there, I say my piece, and my instructor just goes, "Huh?"
I get there, I say my piece, and my instructor just goes, "Huh?"
Sunday, February 28, 2010
the scary thing
Add date is next Friday, March 5.
I have now officially decided I am not staying an extra term for a second major in biology, and thus not turning in the proper forms by that date.
I make this decision because:
a. I don't want to go to grad school in biology. I had this revelation this week. While I enjoy 7.02, I don't want to do it forever. Or even for three more years.
b. I'm not sure how this degree would help me in my eventual career, whatever that may be.
c. There are definitely some classes I am excited about in the biology department here, but I would only get to take one of them next term, plus three I'm not as excited about.
d. I am finally starting to get some ideas for what I'm going to do for graduate school in fall 2011, and they are not biology centered.
I hate being almost-an-adult sometimes. I really, desperately want someone to validate my choice, to say "This is the best idea, and here is why." I'm used to being an overachiever, but all the paths traditionally open to those of my ilk -- med school, law school, MBA (maybe) -- all make me wince. I think the only thing worse than slogging through something that is not always particularly enjoyable with some vague hope of a light afterward (a la high school and MIT, thank you very much) is slogging through something with the knowledge that even if you can't find a job you like in your field, you'll be saddled with enough student debt to bring a pack of camels to their knees. This has frankly channeled a lot of my decision making in regards to grad school, because I'll be on my own paying for it. It damn well better be worth it if I'm going to be paying for it for ten years.
(It seems odd to think that maybe I am being asked to do what makes me happy, what I can dive into with joy, and not what will make me the most prestigious person with the most clout and the most money to make people listen and good things happen. (And perhaps it says something about me that this seems odd.))
(But.)
(Maybe.)
I have now officially decided I am not staying an extra term for a second major in biology, and thus not turning in the proper forms by that date.
I make this decision because:
a. I don't want to go to grad school in biology. I had this revelation this week. While I enjoy 7.02, I don't want to do it forever. Or even for three more years.
b. I'm not sure how this degree would help me in my eventual career, whatever that may be.
c. There are definitely some classes I am excited about in the biology department here, but I would only get to take one of them next term, plus three I'm not as excited about.
d. I am finally starting to get some ideas for what I'm going to do for graduate school in fall 2011, and they are not biology centered.
I hate being almost-an-adult sometimes. I really, desperately want someone to validate my choice, to say "This is the best idea, and here is why." I'm used to being an overachiever, but all the paths traditionally open to those of my ilk -- med school, law school, MBA (maybe) -- all make me wince. I think the only thing worse than slogging through something that is not always particularly enjoyable with some vague hope of a light afterward (a la high school and MIT, thank you very much) is slogging through something with the knowledge that even if you can't find a job you like in your field, you'll be saddled with enough student debt to bring a pack of camels to their knees. This has frankly channeled a lot of my decision making in regards to grad school, because I'll be on my own paying for it. It damn well better be worth it if I'm going to be paying for it for ten years.
(It seems odd to think that maybe I am being asked to do what makes me happy, what I can dive into with joy, and not what will make me the most prestigious person with the most clout and the most money to make people listen and good things happen. (And perhaps it says something about me that this seems odd.))
(But.)
(Maybe.)
maybe
One of the blogs I read is written by a fellow student at MIT who I know peripherally (as, I'm convinced, she knows virtually the entire campus.)
She posted a video of one of her friends singing Beyoncé's "Halo," with various inducements to watch it. The funny thing is (because we don't so much run in the same circles), I know the girl in the video, because she was my first freshman year roommate.
The funnier thing is, because she was only my roommate for maybe two and a half months before she moved into a different room, seeing her reminds me of a very short, very specific frame of time, the time when I was still discovering MIT, still discovering the people here, when some people who would later become good friends seemed new and strange, and others (who I would later regard differently) seemed marvelous and exciting.
I wrote this during my first month here --
She posted a video of one of her friends singing Beyoncé's "Halo," with various inducements to watch it. The funny thing is (because we don't so much run in the same circles), I know the girl in the video, because she was my first freshman year roommate.
The funnier thing is, because she was only my roommate for maybe two and a half months before she moved into a different room, seeing her reminds me of a very short, very specific frame of time, the time when I was still discovering MIT, still discovering the people here, when some people who would later become good friends seemed new and strange, and others (who I would later regard differently) seemed marvelous and exciting.
I wrote this during my first month here --
Thursday, February 25, 2010
yes, three posts in one day is a bit much
But I actually wrote MOST of this post a couple days ago, so it's okay. Really.
It turns out this whole site is worth visiting, not just for giant bunnies: VULGARE > Landscape. Landscape architecture favorites, sort of.
Mammoth. This feels like a blog that I need to get to know better before judging. It deals with architecture -- theoretical, infrastructural, fictional. It also looks to contain a lot on the marriage of architecture and building technology, a subject on which I am shamefully ignorant given my concentration. (I learned some of the technology, and I learned some of the design, but I never skilfully incorporated the two. . . ) I am a bit skeptical, but I feel that I could stand to learn a lot. . .
Hipster Puppies, also known as PUPSTERS! The only problem is that as I look at the pictures, I keep saying to myself, "But this is clearly a NICE puppy! This puppy would never say that!"
I first discovered this website when I was a senior in high school:
It turns out this whole site is worth visiting, not just for giant bunnies: VULGARE > Landscape. Landscape architecture favorites, sort of.
Mammoth. This feels like a blog that I need to get to know better before judging. It deals with architecture -- theoretical, infrastructural, fictional. It also looks to contain a lot on the marriage of architecture and building technology, a subject on which I am shamefully ignorant given my concentration. (I learned some of the technology, and I learned some of the design, but I never skilfully incorporated the two. . . ) I am a bit skeptical, but I feel that I could stand to learn a lot. . .
Hipster Puppies, also known as PUPSTERS! The only problem is that as I look at the pictures, I keep saying to myself, "But this is clearly a NICE puppy! This puppy would never say that!"
I first discovered this website when I was a senior in high school:
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
rain sucks.
I got home with every. single. fucking. particle. of my being dripping with water.
Also, it hurts to chew gum. Why? WHY DOES IT HURT TO CHEW GUM?
I am now sitting at my desk which is next to the rainy window with my space heater running with no pants and no socks.
The last few days have not been so hot on the functionality front. I have been off on my sleep schedule, unproductive, and feeling mightily stupid about the whole thing. I should go to the gym now. But it's raining. I have pottery class tonight. But it's raining. I don't know which of these problems I will be solving. (Not the rain one, unfortunately.)
My body is still pissed at me for the crap I shoveled into it yesterday -- i.e. somewhere around 7-8 cookies worth of oatmeal-coconut-almond cookie dough/finished products. (COCONUT IS SO DELICIOUS. Unfortunately so are sugar and butter.) There is an enormous bowl of bread dough waiting in the fridge to receive similar treatment -- i.e. have me eat 1/6 of it and then bake the rest. Sometimes I feel like my diet is a person, and he likes to go vacationing in the Bahamas every weekend and drives to Wisconsin sporadically during the week.
Also, it hurts to chew gum. Why? WHY DOES IT HURT TO CHEW GUM?
I am now sitting at my desk which is next to the rainy window with my space heater running with no pants and no socks.
The last few days have not been so hot on the functionality front. I have been off on my sleep schedule, unproductive, and feeling mightily stupid about the whole thing. I should go to the gym now. But it's raining. I have pottery class tonight. But it's raining. I don't know which of these problems I will be solving. (Not the rain one, unfortunately.)
My body is still pissed at me for the crap I shoveled into it yesterday -- i.e. somewhere around 7-8 cookies worth of oatmeal-coconut-almond cookie dough/finished products. (COCONUT IS SO DELICIOUS. Unfortunately so are sugar and butter.) There is an enormous bowl of bread dough waiting in the fridge to receive similar treatment -- i.e. have me eat 1/6 of it and then bake the rest. Sometimes I feel like my diet is a person, and he likes to go vacationing in the Bahamas every weekend and drives to Wisconsin sporadically during the week.
no entiendo
In Spanish, there are words of death. They are "no entiendo" (I don't understand.)
I think I may be the worst Spanish student ever.
There is a massive post coming tonight expounding on my feelings, Luke, and my thesis.
I find it amusing and saddening that I am motivated to blog more largely because I don't like what my Wordle picture says my blog (i.e. my life) is about: Things and Coworkers.
It's a bunny! A pink bunny.
I think I may be the worst Spanish student ever.
There is a massive post coming tonight expounding on my feelings, Luke, and my thesis.
I find it amusing and saddening that I am motivated to blog more largely because I don't like what my Wordle picture says my blog (i.e. my life) is about: Things and Coworkers.
It's a bunny! A pink bunny.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
reassessment
The only way that Lenten resolution #3 is going to work is if I actually get ahead enough to do tomorrow's work one morning ahead. After I exercise I am simply not mentally functional; doing the work in the evenings is just not my style (unless I'm desperate. See studio. See tonight's mad thesis crunch.)
We just finished El Espinozo del Diablo (Spine of the Devil) in Spanish III, directed by Guillermo del Toro (same dude as Pan's Labyrinth. Scary movies usually suck, but this one was pretty awesome. Admittedly, it wasn't a "horror" movie per se -- too much plot and character development for that -- but rather a Gothic-ish ghost revenge story. I saw most of it last term before I dropped the class, but now I can fill in the bits that were missing. And, conveniently, I knew when to cover my eyes. Santi the ghost kid is creepy as all get out.
We just finished El Espinozo del Diablo (Spine of the Devil) in Spanish III, directed by Guillermo del Toro (same dude as Pan's Labyrinth. Scary movies usually suck, but this one was pretty awesome. Admittedly, it wasn't a "horror" movie per se -- too much plot and character development for that -- but rather a Gothic-ish ghost revenge story. I saw most of it last term before I dropped the class, but now I can fill in the bits that were missing. And, conveniently, I knew when to cover my eyes. Santi the ghost kid is creepy as all get out.
Monday, February 22, 2010
moral of the story
If a demure layer of cream cheese frosting is good, then a one-inch layer is better.
No one can tell the difference between allspice and cloves after it's baked.
Do not add extra salt to the French Pains au Lait; they have enough already. Adding two eggs and a cup of flour to the recipe, however, is okay.
I HEREBY RESOLVE to do the following for Lent:
1. Read, study, and pray on one chapter of Luke each and every day (this only covers 24 days, but I'll figure something out.)
2. Give one genuine compliment to a different person every day.
3. Do my work one day before it is due. (Already failing at this one; will begin tonight.)
Dear God, please help me . . .
No one can tell the difference between allspice and cloves after it's baked.
Do not add extra salt to the French Pains au Lait; they have enough already. Adding two eggs and a cup of flour to the recipe, however, is okay.
I HEREBY RESOLVE to do the following for Lent:
1. Read, study, and pray on one chapter of Luke each and every day (this only covers 24 days, but I'll figure something out.)
2. Give one genuine compliment to a different person every day.
3. Do my work one day before it is due. (Already failing at this one; will begin tonight.)
Dear God, please help me . . .
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Lent + work makes me sad
I am deeply puzzled by the pset I am supposed to be doing right now. This means. . . I should blog.
What to do for Lent? (yes, I realize I'm a bit late.) Last year I gave up pop, and took up incessant swearing. This year I would like to do something a bit more proactive and hopefully less detrimental to my temperament. I was thinking about trying to read a chapter of a book of the Bible every day and trying to implement something from it in my life that day or the next. (I would also find the "look up the cross-references and historical background" part of this fun.)
This should probably include praying. I suck at prayer. Prayer requires two things from me that I do not care for: a) Effort in an area I'm not already good at and b) faith that it will matter. I'm okay with the whole chatting-about-my-life-with-God thing (when I remember), but I'm not so hot on the ask-for-this-and-it-shall-be-given-to-you part. I don't know what's good to ask for (the trip to Italy is probably out, getting As in all my classes is probably sketchy, and asking to be a better Christian makes me doubt my own sincerity), and I'm not very confident that my prayer will make a difference in someone else's life. This is probably because I always suspect that if I'm praying for someone, it's because I'm too much of a chickenbutt to actually do something for him or her myself. (See: Sad, lonely, nasty people that I don't really want to try with but wish God would make less of a problem for me.)
And theoretically God is supposed to be answering these prayers. How? As someone who has been a Christian for three-ish years now, I'm still uncertain about the actual mechanism. Will I be poked to read relevant Bible verses? Will I get some kind of premonition? Will words be put in the mouth of someone close to me? Do I just have to sort of guess and hope? (I'm afraid it's the last one, which I find depressing.) Frankly, at this point in my life, I feel like God is just saying to me, "Kiddo, I'm just going to wait to talk to you until you're a little less deaf and a little more perceptive."
Bleurgh.
Anyhow, what book should I look at? Some of the histories are decidedly difficult to apply, though I like the Old Testament, and sometimes Paul just gets on my nerves. I'm thinking maybe Isaiah, or a re-reading of Psalms (except they would both be MONUMENTAL.) I do like the Old Testament, because I have a better sense of actual human beings moving around underneath the words; unfortunately, this also makes certain books (Joshua comes to mind) a challenge to my faith, because sometimes I have a hard time seeing the people as being motivated by God rather than by their own weaselly plans. I also (I think) have only read one complete Gospel, which are rather markedly important, so maybe I will just go with Mark or Luke.
I also feel like maybe I should complement this somewhat introspective study with a more obvious outward effort to be a better and (perhaps) more responsible person. A sincere compliment to someone different every day? Doing my homework a couple days ahead of time? Trying to volunteer my time somewhere each week? (I get a fair amount of emails from the Public Service Center, as well as "please help us make food!" messages from all different places.)
O Lent, what shall I do with you?
What to do for Lent? (yes, I realize I'm a bit late.) Last year I gave up pop, and took up incessant swearing. This year I would like to do something a bit more proactive and hopefully less detrimental to my temperament. I was thinking about trying to read a chapter of a book of the Bible every day and trying to implement something from it in my life that day or the next. (I would also find the "look up the cross-references and historical background" part of this fun.)
This should probably include praying. I suck at prayer. Prayer requires two things from me that I do not care for: a) Effort in an area I'm not already good at and b) faith that it will matter. I'm okay with the whole chatting-about-my-life-with-God thing (when I remember), but I'm not so hot on the ask-for-this-and-it-shall-be-given-to-you part. I don't know what's good to ask for (the trip to Italy is probably out, getting As in all my classes is probably sketchy, and asking to be a better Christian makes me doubt my own sincerity), and I'm not very confident that my prayer will make a difference in someone else's life. This is probably because I always suspect that if I'm praying for someone, it's because I'm too much of a chickenbutt to actually do something for him or her myself. (See: Sad, lonely, nasty people that I don't really want to try with but wish God would make less of a problem for me.)
And theoretically God is supposed to be answering these prayers. How? As someone who has been a Christian for three-ish years now, I'm still uncertain about the actual mechanism. Will I be poked to read relevant Bible verses? Will I get some kind of premonition? Will words be put in the mouth of someone close to me? Do I just have to sort of guess and hope? (I'm afraid it's the last one, which I find depressing.) Frankly, at this point in my life, I feel like God is just saying to me, "Kiddo, I'm just going to wait to talk to you until you're a little less deaf and a little more perceptive."
Bleurgh.
Anyhow, what book should I look at? Some of the histories are decidedly difficult to apply, though I like the Old Testament, and sometimes Paul just gets on my nerves. I'm thinking maybe Isaiah, or a re-reading of Psalms (except they would both be MONUMENTAL.) I do like the Old Testament, because I have a better sense of actual human beings moving around underneath the words; unfortunately, this also makes certain books (Joshua comes to mind) a challenge to my faith, because sometimes I have a hard time seeing the people as being motivated by God rather than by their own weaselly plans. I also (I think) have only read one complete Gospel, which are rather markedly important, so maybe I will just go with Mark or Luke.
I also feel like maybe I should complement this somewhat introspective study with a more obvious outward effort to be a better and (perhaps) more responsible person. A sincere compliment to someone different every day? Doing my homework a couple days ahead of time? Trying to volunteer my time somewhere each week? (I get a fair amount of emails from the Public Service Center, as well as "please help us make food!" messages from all different places.)
O Lent, what shall I do with you?
Wordle
If you want to track patterns in your blog, this is an awesome site: Wordle. (Courtesy of Cristen's blog.) It picks out words that are found frequently in your blog/site and makes a pretty picture with them.
Here's the Wordle for this site, with some editing to remove random web addresses:
I find it interesting that, even though well over half of the entries in my blog have been since I left Japan, words relating to Japan definitely dominate here. Clearly I must write more.
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